


gray and white blobs

by 5ambreakdown



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Ficlet, M/M, alexis would be a fantastic mom, by david's standards, subpar christmas card
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28125594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ambreakdown/pseuds/5ambreakdown
Summary: david is less than impressed with alexis's christmas card skills
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	gray and white blobs

**Author's Note:**

> this idea has been in my drafts for a while, but i had no idea what to do with it. i might turn it into something longer eventually, but, for now, hope you enjoy!!

“Patrick, what the fuck am I looking at? This is a really shitty Christmas card. I mean, what even are those gray white blobs?”

“David, those are ultrasound pictures?”

“They’re what?”

“Ultrasound pictures, like, of a baby.”

“No. No, that can’t be right.”

“You’re right. It’s two babies.”

“The fuck do you mean two babies?”

“I mean that Alexis is two months pregnant with twins.”

“What the fuck.”

“She’ll be thrilled to know you’re so excited.”

“Um, Patrick.”

“Yes, David?”

“This means we’re going to be uncles. Like, responsible for another human life. Fuck! There are two of them. We have to help look out for two tiny humans! Hey! No! Stop doing that with your face!”

“What am I doing with my face?”

“See! Now you’re doing it with your voice, sounding all, in love and dopey.”

“We’re going to be uncles, David.”

“I know- oh, okay. We’re doing that, then.”

“Well, I have to do something with my in love and dopey face.”

“Okay, but maybe I like looking at your in love and dopey face. But I can’t do that if it’s buried in my sweater.”

“Okay, David. We should probably call Alexis.”

“Hmm probably.”

“You’re not going to call her right now, are you?”

“No. Nope.”

“David, if she called to tell us, you might not have handled it well. She probably just wanted to give you a little space to process it.”

“I know, I know. You’re right. It’s still a shitty Christmas card, though.”

“David!”

“What?! They didn’t even try to make it look nice. They might as well just have sent us the originals.”

“You think they should have just sent us the original ultrasound photos?”

“Yes.”

“I’m really excited, too, David.”

“Mhmm. I’m very happy for them.”

“I know you are. You’re going to be a great uncle.”

“I’d wait until the little scoundrels are here before you say that.”

“Nah, I already know. You’re great at making people feel loved and taking care of them.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Hey, I’m serious.”

“If I fuck up, at least they’ll have you.”

“David?”

“Hm, yes, honey?”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“You want to send her a better Christmas card, don’t you?”

“Yes. Yep. Already designing it.”

“Wouldn’t doubt it.”

“She’s going to be a great mom.”

“Those kids are going to be so loved.”

“Yes, yes they are.”

“Aw.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Your face is just all in love and dopey.”

“The divorce papers will be on your desk in the morning.”

“Okay, David, love you, too.”

“Mhm, love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> against my better judgement, find me on tumblr! [@5ambreakdown](https://5ambreakdown.tumblr.com/)


End file.
